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Ode To BloodNinja

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OK, the background on this story is pretty funny. During my freshman year of university (Fall 2004) my room mate had some chick stalking him online.  It was some girl still in high school that had the hots for him.  I was a huge bloodninja fan at the time, and if you don’t know blood ninja you need to go read it now!  Anyways I used a lot of bloodninja jokes, original shit I came up with on the fly and really just enjoyed myself.  I saved this on my desktop and found it now (Spring 2010).  Wow, this is like digging through an old closet ;)

How I TRICKED Kevin brydian’s ONLINE stalker
(screen names have obviously been changed, this is for comedy purposes only)
if enough people read this i will go format it and make it easier to read

capsoffplease: hey who is this

capsoffplease: someone put your name on my buddy list

capsoffplease: at this sweet party

katelin: are u friends with kevin?

capsoffplease: yah

katelin: my name is kate

capsoffplease: kate who

capsoffplease: kevin adams?

katelin: byrdian

katelin: kate wilsonette

capsoffplease: where are you from?

capsoffplease: i think i might know a kevin byrdian

capsoffplease: does he play lacrosse

capsoffplease: or is it soccer

capsoffplease: i was at a soccer pty and a lax party

capsoffplease: ?

capsoffplease: ??

katelin: brb

katelin: i think he plays lax

katelin: do u have a pic?

capsoffplease: no?

katelin: oh

katelin: did u get my sn from kevin

katelin: cuz i see his sn in ur profile

capsoffplease: OH the byrd man!

capsoffplease: yah is his name kevin

katelin: lol yeah

katelin: do u play sports with him?

katelin: ?

katelin: u there babe?

capsoffplease: no

capsoffplease: he is my roommate

capsoffplease: i forgot his name

capsoffplease: i call him byrd man

katelin: lol

katelin: so are u as hot as he is

katelin: ?

katelin: ?

capsoffplease: yes

katelin: i don’t think he wants to talk to me

capsoffplease: im kinky

katelin: shut up

katelin: ur talking to him and he’s saying to make fun of me

katelin: i just wanted a serious chat

capsoffplease: you make talking boring

katelin: so u say ur kinky huh?

capsoffplease: ?

katelin: u said a sec ago u were kinky

capsoffplease: ?

katelin wants to directly connect.

capsoffplease is now directly connected.

capsoffplease: send it

katelin: its too big

capsoffplease: i got a sweet pic

capsoffplease: of me

capsoffplease: and kevin spooning

capsoffplease: its just a joke

capsoffplease: but u might like it

capsoffplease: almost done

capsoffplease: ill send you my super sweet pic

capsoffplease: i have my shirt off

capsoffplease: and kevin is staring at the camera

katelin: *pic of her

capsoffplease: *pic of tubgirl.com the sweetest pic ever

katelin: thats me

katelin: thats a big file

katelin: yucky

capsoffplease: thats what were in to

capsoffplease: check it out

katelin: thats gross

capsoffplease: why?

capsoffplease: OH SHIT i think i sent you a picture of my mom when she was sick on accident

capsoffplease: im really sorry

katelin: ok seriously i don’t think u want to talk to me

capsoffplease: no seriously

katelin: so i will leave u alone now

capsoffplease: talk to me

katelin: why so u can make fun of me

capsoffplease: NO seriously

capsoffplease: my mom was really sick

capsoffplease: do u want a real pic now

katelin: yeah but i know ur gonna just send another gross one

capsoffplease: no seriously

capsoffplease: *pic of model

capsoffplease: i forgot to shave sorry

katelin: lol thats not u

capsoffplease: yah it is?

capsoffplease: thanks for making me feel shitty

katelin: lol

katelin: i bet u and kevin are just sitting there making fun of me

capsoffplease: no seriously

capsoffplease: thats me

capsoffplease: like thats a glamor shot my mom got me

capsoffplease: it makes me hotter then i am

capsoffplease: i dont look like kevin

capsoffplease: its my fav picture

capsoffplease: girls love it

katelin: oh

capsoffplease: i got 1 more

katelin: k

katelin: send it

katelin: so are u actually kinky

capsoffplease: *another hot model pic

katelin: hmmmm

capsoffplease: i like your pic btw

capsoffplease: do you have anymore

katelin: *very ugly pic of her

capsoffplease: mmmm

katelin: like?

capsoffplease: i do

capsoffplease: but dont tell anyone

capsoffplease: im supposed to be seeing this girl

capsoffplease: on my hall

capsoffplease: but your so much better

katelin: ok

katelin: is kevin right there?

capsoffplease: no he went to sleep

katelin: oh

capsoffplease: he is over at this girls room

katelin: so u have a nice body huh?

capsoffplease: pretty decent

capsoffplease: ive been working out my abbs

katelin: i wanna see it

capsoffplease: i dont have any of my body

capsoffplease: my mom took them away when she saw me taking pics

capsoffplease: so you are kinky too?

katelin: lol seriously?

katelin: i am kinky but i don’t know if ur telling the truth when u say u are

capsoffplease: no

capsoffplease: please dont tell kevin

capsoffplease: but i really need to do something

capsoffplease: please dont take this wrong

capsoffplease: but would you cyber

capsoffplease: like your pic is amazing

katelin: maybe

katelin: if u are telling the truth

katelin: cuz u sent that gross pic a few minutes ago

capsoffplease: that was an accidnet

capsoffplease: ok are you ready

capsoffplease: like you got to pay attention

capsoffplease: or i loose focus

katelin: well i mean how big is ur cock

katelin: first i wanna ask some questions

capsoffplease: im about 7.5

katelin: cool

capsoffplease: any more

capsoffplease: i got to start

katelin: are u in those pics kevin has on his profile

capsoffplease: im so ready

capsoffplease: no thats the lax team

katelin: on the lax website for your school?

capsoffplease: i dont have any more pics

capsoffplease: i got to go to bed

capsoffplease: my room mate is gone

capsoffplease: can we hurry u

capsoffplease: you can ask questions

katelin: so what kinda kinky stuff do u like

capsoffplease: youll see when we cyber

katelin: i’ll list stuff and u tell me yes or no

capsoffplease: k

katelin: bi stuff or gay stff? (i think its hot when guys do stuff)

capsoffplease: ill have sex with a guy in the same room on the same girl

capsoffplease: but sometimes it gets weird

capsoffplease: i dont really touch him to much

katelin: have u done it before?

capsoffplease: just once

katelin: oh with kevin?

capsoffplease: just once

capsoffplease: hell kill me if he knows i told you

katelin: ok i won’t tell

katelin: so he was the other guy. was there a girl involved?

capsoffplease: good

capsoffplease: yah

capsoffplease: she wanted anal and normal at the same time

capsoffplease: she moaned alot too

capsoffplease: it was awesome

katelin: i think its hot when guys do stuff together

katelin: haha awesome

capsoffplease: well i stroked his hair while we were doing it

capsoffplease: but she was inbetween

katelin: so ur dick was in her and his was too?

capsoffplease: yah

capsoffplease: basically

katelin: cool

katelin: i wish i could have seen it

katelin: was his big?

capsoffplease: hes got like a 7

capsoffplease: were pretty similar

capsoffplease: come on respond faster

capsoffplease: im into this

katelin: don’t jerk off and cum too quick

katelin: k?

capsoffplease: deal

capsoffplease: ill be truthfull

capsoffplease: i love this stuff

katelin: hehe me too

katelin: i wish u would of told me u did stuff with kevin or touched his dick or ass or something

capsoffplease: he dosnt like it

capsoffplease: well me and this kid

capsoffplease: next door

capsoffplease: matt

capsoffplease: once in a while i spoon with him

capsoffplease: but im trying to get him into the mood

capsoffplease: i think hes pretty straight

capsoffplease: ive only touched his junk once

katelin: so are u bi or curious?

capsoffplease: curious

katelin: are those pics seriously of u???

capsoffplease: seriously

katelin: so do u guys ever jerk off in the dorm room?

capsoffplease: ill tell if you get started

capsoffplease: after that question

katelin: hehe ok

capsoffplease: yess

capsoffplease: one time we both did it at the same time

capsoffplease: dont tell anyone

katelin: really?

capsoffplease: yes

katelin: like next to eachother?

capsoffplease: yah

katelin: tell me what happened in detail then we can start

capsoffplease: no?

katelin: did u watch him?

capsoffplease: a little

capsoffplease: NOT at all god shutup

katelin: i wouldn’t of been able to contain myself

katelin: i would of reached over and grabbed his cock

capsoffplease: well im a guy

capsoffplease: k lets get started

capsoffplease: I walk into your bedroom and your sitting in a chair next to your bed

katelin: ok baby

katelin: i am sitting there rubbing my tits and spread eagle

capsoffplease: i take off my suit and get ready for an intense adventure

capsoffplease: ive been wiating all day

capsoffplease: storing it up for hours

katelin: i tell u to take my clothes off

capsoffplease: i slowly lift your shirt off as my other hand is down your pants

katelin: ok baby

katelin: u take off my shirt as my tits fall out

capsoffplease: i start rubbing them slowly

capsoffplease: touching you nipples

katelin: (real quick: my little brother is 18 and he is bi. i can tell him to talk to u on here if u want tomorrow)

capsoffplease: tomor

katelin: would u want to though

capsoffplease: who knows

katelin: k

katelin: he’s good looking

katelin: lick my nipples baby

capsoffplease: yess

katelin: uhhhh yessss

capsoffplease: i start licking them

katelin: oh yeah

katelin: rub my crotch

capsoffplease: i start rubbing it hard

capsoffplease: i step away for a second

capsoffplease: and look at you waiting for me

capsoffplease: my massive boner errecting out of me

katelin: i tell u to come over as i suck ur hard cock

capsoffplease: i put on my robe and wizard hat

capsoffplease: and come right over to you

katelin: what?

katelin: ur robe abd wizard hat?

capsoffplease: its something that makes me feel more powerful

capsoffplease: just go with the flow

capsoffplease: i tease you with my cock

katelin: aer u serious or fucking with me?

capsoffplease: holding it right outside of you vagainal area

katelin: uhhh yes don’t tease me

capsoffplease: i rub it on you like a baseball player would do with his bat on the plate of the 4th inning of a game

capsoffplease: then i slowly

capsoffplease: very slowly

capsoffplease: stick it in you

katelin: ohhhhhh yesssssssssss babyyyyyyyy

katelin: fuc my brains out

capsoffplease: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

katelin: ok now i know ur messing with me

capsoffplease: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

katelin: ok i am gonna stop talking to u

capsoffplease: no come on

capsoffplease: im so hard righ tnow

capsoffplease: plese dont stop

capsoffplease: i wont last much longer

katelin: ur lying

capsoffplease: im just weird

capsoffplease: comme on

capsoffplease: no one will do it with e

katelin: why do u say that level stuff

capsoffplease: b/c i used to play magic cards when i was kid

capsoffplease: and it makes me feel in charge

capsoffplease: as my cock goes all the way into you

katelin: ok u are either telling the truth or telling a really bad lie

capsoffplease: you slowly moan

capsoffplease: i start pulling it back again

capsoffplease: only to start pounding it right back in

katelin: ohhhhh yea

katelin: fuck me fuck me

katelin: uh uh uh uh

capsoffplease: mmm

capsoffplease: i whip my head back in triumph as i rock your body like a japanese school girl

katelin: hehe

katelin: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck me hard

capsoffplease: i start rocking you on the ground

capsoffplease: pull up your legs

capsoffplease: and go down on you like a pile driver

capsoffplease: i pile drive down on you

capsoffplease: as you scream out

capsoffplease: in pleasure

katelin: ok baby fuck me still i scream I”MMMM CUMMMMIIINNNGGG

capsoffplease: im like “im not done yet bitch”

capsoffplease: and i keep rocking you

capsoffplease: like crazy

capsoffplease: I step back for a second, not yet done, to admire self, im like Rhinocerus

katelin: ohhh yes

capsoffplease: well hung like one

katelin: hehe

capsoffplease: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

capsoffplease: i move towards you again

katelin: are u being serious?

capsoffplease: i pull your legs up in the air again

capsoffplease: and stick my large cock into like an airplane into its hanger on a sunday morning

capsoffplease: up and down

capsoffplease: your cum lubricating it like a 6 cylinder nissan engine

katelin: fuck my ass

katelin: hehe

capsoffplease: i pull it out in fury

capsoffplease: and stick into your asshole faster than a fat man can yell pancake

capsoffplease: i dont waste anytime pounding away

katelin: fuck my tight ass

capsoffplease: It doesn’t get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

capsoffplease: i stomp my feet in horny fury

capsoffplease: as im poudning your asshole

katelin: ohhh yesss

capsoffplease: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

katelin: what the hell is that supposed to mean

capsoffplease: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

katelin: i am about to cum but if ur kidding around i am gonna

capsoffplease: come on

capsoffplease: finish with me

katelin: ur saying a bunch of weird stuff

capsoffplease: im pounding you like a mage in his castle

capsoffplease: up and down

capsoffplease: my room mate kevin bryd walks in

capsoffplease: and starts admiring both our position

capsoffplease: and my cock

capsoffplease: he walks over slowly

capsoffplease: he whips out his cock

capsoffplease: and slides it right into your vagina

katelin: i really wanna see his cock

katelin: u should suck his cock for him

capsoffplease: we both are sliding in and out of you

capsoffplease: you scream

katelin: how do u do that. what position

capsoffplease: eifle tower reverse

capsoffplease: your bent over doggy style

capsoffplease: right over kevin

capsoffplease: and im poudning you stanidng up

capsoffplease: in the asshole

katelin: oh

katelin: is that how u did that other girl?

capsoffplease: yah

capsoffplease: she liked it dont worry

capsoffplease: she bled int he asshole a little bit

capsoffplease: come on im about to spoolge everywhere

capsoffplease: lets finish

katelin: eat it for me tonight

capsoffplease: i will

capsoffplease: ill pull it out

capsoffplease: but im not ready yet

katelin: i am about to have an orgasm

capsoffplease: my wizard robe falls off b/c i am pounding you so hard

katelin: my pussy is swollen

capsoffplease: i whip out my dick

capsoffplease: and admire myself

capsoffplease: pushing you aside

capsoffplease: kevin comes over to me

capsoffplease: opens his mouth

capsoffplease: i laugh at him

capsoffplease: and tease him with it

capsoffplease: then stick it back in you

capsoffplease: start pounding you again

capsoffplease: as i look at kevin from the other side of the room

capsoffplease: come on talk

katelin: hehe

katelin: i get wetter as i orgasm on ur cock

capsoffplease: i laugh at how your ograsmed twice allready

capsoffplease: i pull out

capsoffplease: I stick the wizard hat in your vagina to try and replace my awesome cock

capsoffplease: i go over to kevin

capsoffplease: he smiles like a children toy doll

capsoffplease: i pretend to splooge and kevin gets mad

capsoffplease: suddenly, b/c im not gay I turn towards you

capsoffplease: i let loose

capsoffplease: like a hail storm in october

capsoffplease: only half of it makes it to you

capsoffplease: the other splattering around the room like blood from a gun fight

capsoffplease: you clean me off

capsoffplease: and i stand back

capsoffplease: admiring the scene

katelin: i go over and lick up some of ur hot cum

capsoffplease: i put my wizard hat back on

capsoffplease: i instantly get another boner

katelin: then kevin stands up and pushes me on the couch

katelin: he pushes his hard dick into my butt

capsoffplease: i stand back astonished that kevin is stealing my bitch

capsoffplease: but for some reason

capsoffplease: staring at his back is awesome

capsoffplease: as his asshole glistens in my face like xmas decorations

katelin: his nice naked butt

capsoffplease: i love it, only not you physco bitch

katelin: i bet its round and hairless

capsoffplease: very

katelin: did u see it much

capsoffplease: i come on behind kevin

capsoffplease: i push him out of the way

capsoffplease: i come up to you

capsoffplease: and smile

katelin: fuck his butt while he fucks me

capsoffplease: i storm my feet in anger like a lion who has another competing male in his presnece

capsoffplease: i growl like a wolf on a wednesday

capsoffplease: i stick my cock in you as kevin stands back

capsoffplease: i unleash so hard that you actually move backwards 37.5 feet

capsoffplease: you have so much semen inside of you that its spilling out like an oil ship hit by a rocket launcher

katelin: hehe

capsoffplease: i drop kick you in the face so you start bleeding from you nose

capsoffplease: the cum and blood makes me get hard again

katelin: i have to go soon so u better cum

capsoffplease: i like it rough

capsoffplease: and splooge

capsoffplease: shiiiiiiit

capsoffplease: im sploooging

capsoffplease: shiiiiit

capsoffplease: its splashing eveywhere

capsoffplease: i look at you again

capsoffplease: my boner instantly vanishes

capsoffplease: i realize that your the ugliest whore ever

capsoffplease: i cast level 7 transportatoin to get out of here

capsoffplease: but it dosnt work

capsoffplease: my wand is still under the bed

capsoffplease: i dive for it like crazy

katelin: what?

capsoffplease: i take my wand up

capsoffplease: SHIT my wand is broken

katelin: do u want me to leave u alone?

capsoffplease: i want you to cum

katelin: i did

capsoffplease: i slap you in the face with my cock so hard it leaves an impression

capsoffplease: i smile

capsoffplease: sexily

katelin: did u cum yet for real?

capsoffplease: yah i have a wizard hat where i put it all

capsoffplease: i also keep my socks in there

capsoffplease: so did you enjoy yourself

capsoffplease: i know i did

katelin: idk

katelin direct connection is closed.

capsoffplease: why not

capsoffplease: it was intense

katelin: the stuff u were saying wasn’t even sexual

capsoffplease: fuck you you whore

capsoffplease: thats how i roll

katelin: heh

capsoffplease: it was sexual to me

capsoffplease: i grow another cock

capsoffplease: and slap you so hard your mom feels it

katelin: so did u really have a threesome with kevin

capsoffplease: yeah

capsoffplease: but i g2g

katelin: ok i’ll ttyl

katelin: tomorrow

capsoffplease: i have pokemon card practice in an hour

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)
Ode To BloodNinja, 9.5 out of 10 based on 2 ratings
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