First Previous Comic Random Next Comic Last

Gaga or Gag, Point & Counterpoint with Doug & Rolen

by


Point Doug:


I just watched the latest Lady Gaga music video. Telephone. I just want to say thank god for Lady Gaga tackling what is probably the greatest threat facing our generation: telephone calls while we are dancing in the club. She really hits it home when she says she can’t text back because she has a drink in her hand, the humanity. Imagine if Lady Gaga had been around during World War II. She probably would have been able to stop Hitler with a song about getting blisters from dancing in high heels. During the course of the video she murders an entire diner full of people with a bottle of poison, because that’s what I do when I can’t hear you on my phone because I am trying to listen to the DJ playing my favorite song you inconsiderate asshole. And then Beyonce’ gets in on the song and starts singing/complaining like a bitch about how she should have left her phone at home because her boyfriend keeps bothering her. Well maybe you should be spending time with your true love rather than out whoring in a club. Or maybe his ass is in the hospital and he’s trying to call you to come pick him up, or maybe it’s your mother calling and your Dad just had a stroke. Did your selfish ass ever think about that? NO I HAVE TO HEAR THIS SONG AND DANCE WITH MY SHITTY TITS OUT OR ELSE I’LL NEVER FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. Our society is pointless. There is hope. I remember hearing about how the Romans had a musician named Lady Caesar and she wrote a song about people ruining orgies whenever they let a messenger in to deliver a message. We haven’t hit that point………….yet.


Figure 1: Which one is Lady Gaga? Hint: It’s harder than you think.

Figure 1: Which one is Lady Gaga? Hint: It’s harder than you think.


I always hear in the news how Lady Gaga is never out partying but rather constantly in the studio working. SERIOUSLY? WORKING? On this shit!? How fucking hard is it to sit down and write about telephones? How much time does that take? Maybe not long, maybe she is tackling bigger issues like a song about health reform, well not health reform but about how it’s hard to hear anything when you are walking in a latex nurse’s outfit. A song everyone around the world can relate to. Or maybe it’s a song about unemployment, well not unemployment but a song about how hard it is to get dumb fucks to buy your music when nobody has a job, thanks Obama. I honestly begin to feel sorry for anyone who likes this shit or relates to it. CONGRATS you just related to a song about how you might have a problem with drinking and clubbing, maybe you should get a real fucking job and stop complaining about trivial shit. The only cool part of her music video was that she was wearing sunglasses made of cigarettes. I mean cigarettes make you look cool and sunglasses make you look cool so sunglasses made of cigarettes are probably the coolest fucking thing on the planet.


Figure 2: Cigarette Sunglasses, the cool defies the odds, it’s like dividing by zero.

Figure 2: Cigarette Sunglasses, the cool defies the odds, it’s like dividing by zero.


Except that they showed up in the dumbest most pointless piece of shit I have ever seen. One youtube commenter said that Lady Gaga was pushing the boundaries of music videos. Seriously dude? Sir Mix a Lot was pushing boundaries in the 90’s when he did his tit fest video “Put em on the Glass.” But in all honesty I am glad that she is pushing boundaries of music videos, a medium long considered a bastion of conservative values and ideals. Who could forget the overtly conservative Christian values on display in Nelly’s “Tip Drill” and Mistikal’s “Shake ur Ass.” Oh and I forgot there are like 60 product placement ads in this video. I’m sorry shit head but it’s no longer pushing the boundaries when you sell out to corporate America.

LADY GAGA CAN SUCK MINE OR HER DICK.


Figure 3: I am still like 90% sure this is a man.

Figure 3: I am still like 90% sure this is a man.



Counterpoint Rolen:

First of all, I would like to point a couple of things. Number 1, Doug hates America. Number 1b Doug hates Black People. Number 2 Doug Hates boobs. Number 3 I love both America and the beauty of women.

Doug has just pointed out that he doesn’t believe telephones are important nor lacks appreciation for cellular technology. Yes, the facts do show that Lady Gaga could not talk on the phone because she had a drink in her hand and was dancing. However, do you know who was on the other line? No you don’t. It could be Hitler or Satan, maybe even Fran Drescher. Have you ever been on the phone Fran Dresser? That’s probably the worst sound in the world. I would try to get off the phone as fast as possible.

If you have seen the video, Lady Gaga wears an outfit made of red, white, and blue which demonstrates her patriotism. I have known Doug for over 10 years and have never seen Doug where anything even close to American flag. Lady Gaga represents freedom of expression via her obscure fashion sense, music, and usage of the telephone. And as for those product placements? Product placement is pretty capitalistic. If you don’t like capitalism, that makes you a pinko commie.


Figure 4: Wonder Man and Wonder Woman.

Figure 4: Wonder Man and Wonder Woman.


Lady Gaga represents freedom, capitalism, and America. She might as well be called Lady Liberty! And if you don’t love her, you can leave her. And by her, I mean America and leave her I mean run off to Costa Rica or Canada.

Point Doug:


Rolen you ignorant slut.



Figure 5: Who would defend this guy?

Figure 5: Who would defend this guy?


No 1. I am American.

I have never ever seen Rolen’s birth certificate, I will also point out that Rolen’s parents are Vietnamese and Rolen’s father was in the Vietnam War, enemy or ally we will never know. Therefore I have to question anything Rolen supports as “good” for America. He could just as easily be sandbagging everyone in hopes that people like Lady Gaga will bring down the USA, netting him the revenge that he and his family have wanted ever since the Vietnam War ended.


Editor's Depiction of Vietnamese Person

Editor's Depiction of Vietnamese Person


I even played football in high school, the single most American sport.  I don’t count baseball since the Japanese and Cubans play it. Rolen on the other hand, has a black belt in a sport developed over seas. I studied engineering in college, Rolen studied to become a lobbyist at one point, the only reasoning behind that was so that he could gain access to the highest powers and subvert American society. Lady Gaga represents everything wrong with youth today. Weird clothes, weird hair, and a fuck you to anyone who disagrees. It’s American to disagree, it’s communism that rushes to stifle any other opinion. Rolen I ask you, are you a communist who seeks to censor my opinion?

It’s Uncle Sam on the telephone Rolen, he wants to have a word with you.

THE WINNER IS:

Nobody, we all lose when this shit is popular.


Figure 6: Artist’s rendering of Lady Gaga

Figure 6: Artist’s rendering of Lady Gaga


VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 7.4/10 (8 votes cast)
Gaga or Gag, Point & Counterpoint with Doug & Rolen, 7.4 out of 10 based on 8 ratings

Tags:

First Previous Comic Random Next Comic Last