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Technical Help

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So my damn cable box just stopped working, no reason, I love paying for my cable even though I get half of my tv from hulu.com or netflix. Anyways I decided I would have some fun in their online chat support rather than actually sitting on a phone waiting list for 20 minutes. I obviously changed the names, zip codes, etc, but I refuse to replace Time Warner Cable, they are the suck…

Eric Norway: Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. My name is Eric. Please give me a moment while I access your account.

Eric Norway: Your digital cable box is not working. Am I correct?

CAPSOFFPLEASE: yes it is broken or something
CAPSOFFPLEASE: it says HW provisioning
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and then gives a mac address
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and some info
Eric Norway: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Eric Norway: I would be happy to assist you.
Eric Norway: Please give me a couple of minutes.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i have been waiting forever
CAPSOFFPLEASE: this is ridiculous
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i have been paying for cable for the last week
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and it does not work
Eric Norway: I have sent signal to your box.
Eric Norway: Please check if it is rebooting.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: ok
CAPSOFFPLEASE: it did not do anything
CAPSOFFPLEASE: it says PROVISIONING in green on the top

Eric Norway: What is displayed on the box?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: PROVISIONING in a green bar
CAPSOFFPLEASE: below that
CAPSOFFPLEASE: need H/E Registration
Eric Norway: Okay.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: there is a cable card s/n
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and mac
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and host id
Eric Norway: The cable card need to be synchronized.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: how can we fix this
CAPSOFFPLEASE: can i be rembursed for all the time i was w/o cable?
Eric Norway: You just need to call us at xxxxxxx
Eric Norway: It can be done instantly.
Eric Norway: Since when is the cable box showing the error messsage?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: about the beginning of the week
CAPSOFFPLEASE: dude i don’t have time to call
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i just was on hold for 30 minutes
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and i had to hang up and try this
Eric Norway: The number is 24*7.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i work from 9-9
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and then i sleep
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i can’t be on hold everytime i call
Eric Norway: It can be done by phone representative. There is a seperate department for cable card.
Eric Norway: They are available via call.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: there is a 20 minute wait
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i just called
CAPSOFFPLEASE: this has been an ongoing problem
Eric Norway: I have applied credit for 7 days of loss of service.
Eric Norway: The amount is $10.06.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: awesome thank you
Eric Norway: You are welcome.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: are they going to sned someone to fix this?
Eric Norway: No, it can be done remotely.
Eric Norway: Technician visit is not needed.
Eric Norway: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Eric Norway: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: well my cable still does not work
CAPSOFFPLEASE: what am i supposed to do
Eric Norway: You will have to call us.
Eric Norway: Or I can schedule a technician visit.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: there is a 20 minute wait!
CAPSOFFPLEASE: how can i call
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i don’t have 20 minutes
CAPSOFFPLEASE: my time is worth 100 dollars per hour
CAPSOFFPLEASE: so if u give me 50 dollars i will call
Eric Norway: Should I schedule a technician visit?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: would i need to be here?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and take time off from work?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i would also need to charge you for that
CAPSOFFPLEASE: 100 dollars per hour
CAPSOFFPLEASE: that is a deal
Eric Norway: Anyone over the age of 18 needs to be present.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i have a cat, but she is unable to answer the door 🙁 if you give me hbo for 2 months i will deal with the phone call
Eric Norway: Our technician are available on weekends.
Eric Norway: I can not add any free services.
Eric Norway: Again, that can be requested by calling.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: do you think they would give me some HBO?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i might be willing to deal with this
CAPSOFFPLEASE: for hbo
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i really like that tv show true blood
CAPSOFFPLEASE: have you seen it?
Eric Norway: I do not have any idea.
Eric Norway: True blood is pretty famous.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: yeah i think that bill guys is pretty sweet, i wish i was a vampire don’t you
CAPSOFFPLEASE: then i could just fly around and crap and not have to resort to cable tv
Eric Norway: I can not comment on that being on technical chat.
Eric Norway: What is the wait time now?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: let me check
CAPSOFFPLEASE: it says some crap about gaston country
CAPSOFFPLEASE: have u ever been to gaston county
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i hate that place
Eric Norway: Do you want me to schedule a technician on Saturday or Sunday?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: hmmm
CAPSOFFPLEASE: let me think about it
CAPSOFFPLEASE: one second
CAPSOFFPLEASE: why is this person on the phone not talking like a real person
CAPSOFFPLEASE: she keeps asking questins
CAPSOFFPLEASE: but won’t hear me correctly
CAPSOFFPLEASE: WHAT THE HECK
Eric Norway: Are you speaking to your phone representative or IVR
CAPSOFFPLEASE: what da heck is an IVR?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: is this a ROBOT!?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: my mom told me not to talk to robots
Eric Norway: Its an automated voice response system.
Eric Norway: Okay.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: holy crap
Eric Norway: Coming back, what about the technician visit?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i am a quaker i can’t talk to robos
CAPSOFFPLEASE: its against my religion
CAPSOFFPLEASE: ok now i think i am just on a message machine
CAPSOFFPLEASE: WHY DID YOU NOT WARN ME ABOU THE ROBOT Eric!
Eric Norway: Sorry, I wasn’t aware.
Eric Norway: So, should I schedule a technician to check the box?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: will the technician be human or robot or android
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i will only except android or human
Eric Norway: He\she will be human.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and u swear by this?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i can’t handle a robot attack
Eric Norway: You can trust me.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: thannkkkk you
Eric Norway: I can arrange a technician to visit your place on Saturday between 8 am to 10 am. Will that work for you?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: ok how about saturday morning
CAPSOFFPLEASE: OH YES
CAPSOFFPLEASE: that will work
CAPSOFFPLEASE: make sure he/she is not alergic to cats
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i have 5 cats
Eric Norway: Thank you.
Eric Norway: Please provide us a number so our technician can call you before arrival.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: xxxxxxxxxx
CAPSOFFPLEASE: but plz don’t tell the IVR my #
CAPSOFFPLEASE: i am scared of that IVR
Eric Norway: Please do not worry. It will be a human being on call.
Eric Norway: Not an IVR.
Eric Norway: Thank you for the information.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: thank you for the protection
Eric Norway: A technician has been scheduled to visit. We will call you before arrival. We will require someone over the age of 18 to allow us entry to your home. Please let us know if this should be rescheduled.

Eric Norway: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
CAPSOFFPLEASE: how do i know that you are a real person
CAPSOFFPLEASE: and not some judgement day drone like IVR
CAPSOFFPLEASE: quick name something i would eat if i was sad
Eric Norway: We do not have such an advanced system who can respond like a human.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: no robot would care about food
Eric Norway: Rum maybe.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: YES!
CAPSOFFPLEASE: u r human
CAPSOFFPLEASE: thank you
Eric Norway: You are welcome.
CAPSOFFPLEASE: have a good night Eric norway
Eric Norway: Again, my name is Eric. Thank you for chatting with Time Warner Cable. We value you as a customer and are here to assist you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you would like to take a brief survey, please click on End Session and the survey will load.

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Rating: 8.7/10 (26 votes cast)
Technical Help, 8.7 out of 10 based on 26 ratings
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